Being loved openly and clearly builds the most uniquely beautiful connections
Linda Apollo
Sometimes I feel like a Russian nesting doll, pretty and adorned on the outside, a veil covering all the different parts of me that lay beneath the surface but there is so much more to me if you look inside, look beyond, there are layers and love and a multitude of magic.
But here is the thing, a lot of people will look no further than your outward appearance. Many people will not be prepared to swim the depths with you or reach the peaks of all the mountains you are surely going to climb in this life. Many of the people we end up loving and choosing, will not have the capacity to love us and choose us back.
That is a heavy hitter and I am not inviting toxic positivity into this chat for me. It has no place here. It is 100% okay to sit within the emotions and then organically send them on their way, once they have served their purpose.
It never gets easier when someone doesn’t love you or choose you back, that is the truth. But we become stronger, we hold more resiliency and wisdom in our very bones, hard truths, and lessons learned that only come from lived experience. We have a collection, a diverse array of tools in our self-love toolbox that aids in waving those humans along on their path, while we continue on ours.
When we met someone who is not particularly interested in seeing the depths we possess, seeing the wild and messy beneath the surface, that is a reminder to choose ourselves. Choose yourself. In a society that has taught us to favor being cool over being connected, promise yourself that you will always choose to be the person who cares. To be the person who does not desensitize themself, to be the person who slams their heart into the people who excite it without hesitation, without worrying if it is too much or too intense. Do not water yourself down, do not silence the parts of yourself that leap towards the beauty you see in another human being. Be all you are.
The truth is when you settle for an almost, you settle for almost in every single aspect of a relationship. Almost happy. Almost valued. Almost chosen. Yes, the connection holds weight, there is depth there, but it will always exist on the surface of what your soul craves. When you settle for an almost, you are left waiting to receive the kind of love you have been giving someone all along. You are holding out for something real and pointed and full to grow from so much uncertainty. But you deserve to be someone’s favorite thing. You deserve the effort, you deserve for the beauty you are within another human being to come to fruition, to be something substantial, to be something you can grow within. You deserve to feel like someone is excited to be with you like someone is excited to commit to you like someone is inspired to dive into something concrete and foundational with you. You deserve someone who is on the same page. someone who wants the same page. Someone who wants the same things, someone who wants to meet all of your hope with action. You deserve someone who is not afraid of being responsible for your heart. You deserve someone who embraces it.
Being loved openly and clearly builds the most uniquely beautiful connections. At the end of the day, nothing is more attractive than someone who stands firmly in front of you and chooses you. At the end of the day, nothing is more comforting than the kind of love that grows from certainty and conviction, no games, just presence.
When love comes back, show it who you are, where you have been, and who you have yet to become. Do not let it scare you. Let it open you up. Let love help you show yourself. When love comes back, hold it a little closer, kiss it a little longer, though it a little softer. When it comes back, know you deserve it, over and over again, until it stays for so long that you know nothing else, until you accept nothing else.
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