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Dear younger me,

Dear younger me,

This is a letter to assure you that I’m fine now. Life hasn’t been a walk in the park, but you probably already know that. We may have had many choices to make but I’m glad because you made them and am here now because of them. 

Maybe you didn’t get everything you asked for, but what you had was enough. Even though you sold yourself short, you were enough. I just wanted to say thank you for each time you fought to be heard even if you had to be loud. That made us who we are now. 

All those tears we shed secretly when we felt that we weren’t enough, every time we asked for help but were never heard all made us who we are. Thank you for not holding on to the negative things they said, because of that I now know better than to hold grudges. 

I smile more now because you taught me to fight back and to choose my battles wisely. We’ve come this far because you were keen and didn’t destroy us with life altering decisions. When I look back at the things we’ve been through, it gives me strength to carry on.

I know that you thought that the weight of the world was on your shoulders, but now I know better. It has taken time, but I’ve learnt that a problem shared is a lighter burden to carry. After all this time it’s still difficult to know which path to take. So it’s a good thing you took time to have fun because now it’s time to roll up those sleeves and work. 

It was fun to be you and how I sometimes wish that the sands of time would take me back to that time when I didn’t have to think of the future. When I dreamt of now being this magical place where I now have to face as reality which can be disappointing. I miss those days that we didn’t have to overthink everything. When we weren’t afraid to live because the possibilities were always able to express ourselves fearlessly. 

Now, today makes me feel like a different person. All this pain makes me feel like I’m losing you. I’ve made a few mistakes that I know you wouldn’t approve of but don’t worry because I promise you that I’ll not let us fall. We are strong and will always rise up and dust off those weaknesses that made us fall. 

I’d like to think that we are fighters and will always find a way out of every problem. That’s because we’re problem solvers. Thank you for being strong enough to withstand all those insults. Each time I look back I’m able to move forward knowing that I’m not a failure. 

Now when I’m down I get comfort in the wonderful memories that we’ve made so far. Though life is tougher now, I know that you’ll always be my greatest cheerleader. As I move on I’ll always remember the lessons that we’ve learnt till date. 

Those sleepless nights we sat thinking of the future are still haunting me and I don’t know why. But it’s ok because now I’ve learnt that there’s always a ray of hope. Thank you for the scrapes because now that they no longer hurt they my fondest memories of you.

 Dear younger me, I’m still learning how life works and I’m happy that we are still here putting on a fight.

About The Author

The Insider South Sudan

The Insider South Sudan is a leading source of in-depth investigative, reporting, crime and corruption, human trafficking, political analysis, local and international news, arts, music, and culture. We provide extensive coverage of underreported issues affecting local communities in South Sudan by investigating these problems to find solutions.

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