Embrace self-love at all costs

Let the love you have for yourself be flexible enough to out-stand any unexpected winds.

You are a beautiful living thing. Let the love you have for yourself evolve as well. How you watered yourself yesterday may not necessarily be the way you need to water yourself tomorrow. Let the love you have for yourself be flexible enough to out-stand any unexpected winds. -Chapata

Your growth is never going to be linear and life is not on a chronology of milestones that you have to check off your bucket list as quickly as possible or in the same way or the same speed as your family or friends do.

 It is okay if you do not finish school, find a job that supports you,get married,have a family, make money and live a cozy life all by this age or that age. It is okay if you do as long as you understand that if you are not married by the age of 25 or be a CEO by the age of 30 or even happy for that matter, the world is not going to condemn you. 

You are allowed to backtrack. You are allowed to figure out what motivates you. You are allowed to slow down. You are allowed time.

Do not let the societal pressures convince you that you have to take the next step and the next step towards a future that you truly do not believe in. Give yourself permission to breathe, permission to have patience within your timing. To take stock of the things that stir up your spark, to dive into the heart of who you are and take the steps towards a future that is yours. Give yourself permission to truly figure out what you desire from life, your purpose and never give up on it regardless of how tough things get. Pursue it with ruthless conviction.

Know when to walk away from the people who cannot love you the way you deserve to be loved. Learn how to be on your own. Your own person, your own cheerleader. There is power in solitude. 

Learn how to be honest with your heart even when it hurts. Self control is strength. 

Calmness is mastery. You have to get to a point where your mood does not shift based on the insignificant actions of other people. Do not allow others to control the direction of your life. Do not allow your emotions to overpower your intelligence.

Trust me when I say that love bred out of suitability, love that blooms from the need to sleep beside someone, love that caters to our need for attention rather than passion is love that will not inspire you at 5am when you roll over and embrace it. 

Endeavor to discover foundational love, the kind of relationship that propels you to be a better man or woman. The kind of intimacy that is rare rather than right there. Endeavor to find a soul mate who speaks your language so that you do not spend your entire life explaining your soul.

Be alone, eat alone, take yourself on dates, go for solo road trips, sleep alone,go camping by yourself. Stay single until you find the kind of person who makes you better. Better does not mean you have suddenly acquired perfection but rather through the eyes of another, you have learned acceptance. 

Better is happier, better is in how you carry yourself in parts of your life that do not even involve them.In the midst of this you will learn more about yourself, you will grow,you will figure out what inspires you, you will curate your own dreams, your own beliefs, your own brilliant clarity and when you do meet the person who makes your cell dance, you will be certain about it because you are sure of yourself. 

Wait for it, fight for it, make an effort for it if you have already found it. Do not be in a rush. This is because it is the most beautiful thing your heart will experience.

In everything you do, always lean towards tenderness, lean towards connectedness, we are all afraid to say too much, to feel too deeply, to let people know what they mean to us. Caring is not synonymous with crazy, expressing to someone how special they are to you will make you vulnerable.

 There is no denying that, however that is nothing to be embarrassed of. There is something excitingly beautiful in the instant of smaller magic that occurs when you strip down and are honest with those you choose to slam your heart into. Those who stir up something within it when you express yourself. Open up yourself, do not harden yourself to the world. Be bold in who and how you love. There is courage in that. Remember that you are a smart, badass human and the world deserves to know you, you are special.