I See You

“I watch you fight the battle within you. That only you will ever see. I watch you sprinkle happiness into people. I watch you over-pour yourself into people’s cups. I watch you care. I watch you extend the goodness in you to those around you.  I watch you empathize. Change lives. Make it better for everyone…”

By Linda Apollo

I see you. I see the way you stare hard into your mirror till your reflection blurs. I see the sadness in your eyes. The deep, deep sadness in your eyes. There’s a saying that says,” The eyes are the window to your soul.” I believe that the saying was meant for you. Your eyes are a world of its own. Your eyes have seen what most never have.

I see how you wear your heart on your sleeves every morning as you walk out into the storm. You do this everyday. Tirelessly, Repeatedly. And in the evening, you come back home with your heart worn out. Filled with scratches, tears and scars from all the beasts you encounter in the wilderness. I deeply believe that you are really courageous. Extremely courageous. I know that it takes a really huge heart, a very resilient human to be just what you naturally are.

I see how you sit on the cold floor, hugging yourself in between tears, slowly cleaning your wounds. You lick them till the redness fades away. Then you go to bed, scared, with a heavy heart, an overwhelmed brain…still the next day I see you do it all over again. Wear your own out heart like its brand new. Into the storm, with a beautiful smile on your face. And fight like you’ve never done before. To absorb all the emotions you encounter, the pain, the misery, the joy and the love.

I watch as you lay down. As you welcome every Elaine, Erika and Ella in your life. I watch as they drink from you. I watch as they break you. I watch as they leave. As everyone hurts you. I see as you open up your chest widely apart for everyone to see what’s inside you; daring them to come closer, to touch your brokenness. I see you speak your truth, honestly, maybe a little too honest. I see you hand out love like free Easter eggs. I see you cry, the heart wrenching kind of cry.

They think you are like a broken dam. Emotions oozing out of you like a river.” Isn’t that a little too much”? They ask. “Shouldn’t you be a little stronger?” I watch you break as people stare at you. As people call you weak. I watch you as people make you questions if there is something wrong with you.

I watch you fight the battle within you. That only you will ever see. I watch you sprinkle happiness into people. I watch you over-pour yourself into people’s cups. I watch you care. I watch you extend the goodness in you to those around you.  I watch you empathize. Change lives. Make it better for everyone. I watch you feel. I watch you take the risk, every single day to be your true self. To own up to your mistakes. To reach out to others. To be authentic. Genuine. Raw.

It doesn’t matter what they say. I know and believe that vulnerability is not a defect.