Let go of the tendency to favor distance over depth

I do not know how many people can relate but I keep finding myself in internal conversations where I am pointing so quickly to the mistakes I have made, the areas I have fallen short of.

In each moment I could have and should have been better. And at first, I get a little sad over the fact that I was not my best self. I made a mistake and I wonder what does so and so think? I keep catching myself and have to change that internal dialogue to something a little kinder. And it sounds more like, “yes you made that mistake but you also are not that version of anyone and you have learned and you have grown and tried so hard since then to get to where you are now. My hope is despite mistakes, the people who love and care about me, see it as just that. But above all still see my good.” Because the truth is the good in you will bring out the best in others and the honest flaws and shortcomings in you will bring out the human in everyone.

You have been through a thousand things in your life people do not even know about. You have experienced things that have shaken you, changed you, broke you, built you, and taught you to be stronger than you ever thought you could be. You are who you are for all of it. So, the next time someone judges you based on a small part of what they see and how they interpret that. Remember who you are, remember how much you have overcome and smile and keep walking because you do not have a single thing to prove to anyone else. You have already proved so much to yourself who muddled through storms that people did not even see because of how you carried yourself.

You have been both perfect and imperfect for each other. At least that is what you have been telling yourself. But I do not think you will ever be what the other person needs, at the time they need you to be it. There is both an allure of curiosity to two people like that, the yearning to get it right, the illusion and the way you have built each other up to be, in perfect situations that relate to our own, at the time you would like them to be. Real love does not come conveniently when you would like to or allow itself to be something that can be put on a shelf for later.

While I am not sure exactly what you are going through or what you are at this moment, my heart breaks for the broken hearts of the world. My heart aches for those mourning. My heart hurts because you are going through something unkind and unfair. There is nothing more I can say. It sucks and I am so incredibly sorry you have to learn a hard lesson this way. You deserve international healing. I now see it as one of the greatest acts of love I have ever shown myself. The freedom it births is unmatched.

Learn how to let go of your tendency to favor distance over depth. Learn how to open to this world, how to let love pour into your life. We often protect ourselves from seeming too eager or too interested; we hold our feelings back because we do not want to seem overly emotional or tender. We silence our instincts, we bankrupt our souls, and at the end of the day, we feel alone. I hope you learn how to let go of your fear. Learn how to remind yourself that there is nothing wrong with vulnerability, with being human, with unhinging your rib cage, and sharing your heart with this world. There is beauty to be found in being the person who cares. So care.

I hope you learn how to let go of the idea that it is not too late. It is never too late to change your life. It is never too late to become the person you have always hoped you could be, or love the way you have always wanted to love. We often forget that we are bound by our past. We do not have to be who we were a year ago, we do not have to make the same mistakes we did when we were younger, we can want different things, we can grow. We have to believe that we are never too old, never too jaded and never too broken to take our first steps towards change. We wake up every single day with the ability to start afresh, it is never too late to take advantage of that. It is never too late.