The faults in our communication

By Linda Apollo

Every sound, every word you utter has great weight more than you can comprehend. They have gravity in the air and a slip of the tongue could cost you your life. Maybe that’s why I don’t believe in ,” we are friends, remember?” No please. I am sorry but no.

If anything being a friend should give you more reason to say thank you, please and sorry. I know so well the importance of these words. I know what it means to be appreciated, to be empathized. I know what it feels to know you are loved and appreciated.

Unfortunately, this is where most of us go wrong. The assumptions we keep making about our loved ones. “My dad loves me so much, he will eventually forgive me.” “She is my daughter, she has no problem with me talking to my friends about it.” “He is my best friend , he will understand.” These are the kind of things that end up breaking people apart. 

The idea that someone will understand you even without explaining yourself. When this might be true, someone may understand your unsaid words, have you ever thought of their unsaid words?  That maybe your daughter won’t be okay with your sharing her personal business with your friends. 

Have you ever considered what it feels for her to forgive you without apologizing? Ever thought of the long term frustrations you cause them? The more you take someone for granted the pain builds up in them. However small the pain may be, it slowly keeps growing, whether it’s in days, months or even years. Eventually in the end, it becomes that big fight that messes up everything that was created in years.

I really admire people who speak out exactly what they feel about the other person. This is because I really value my relationships with everyone and I would do anything to ensure they are only getting better. 

I have had instances when those dear to me called me names but as much as I hurt, I never hate them . They are just showing me, the ‘me’ from their point of view and it’s totally okay. Nonetheless, they make me scrutinize myself more and want to correct my mistakes.

However, we have those who cannot open up and it’s upon you to think and feel for them. Put yourself in their shoes and imagine how it would be for you in such a situation. You don’t have to be so empathetic to understand anyone. You just need to act like a human being who has a soul. Remember to think of the other person’s emotions before you open your mouth and utter words you cannot never take back.