You are not alone

            I am sorry.

I am sorry that the world was not always kind to you. I am sorry that the world was not always kind to your heart. I am sorry that you place your tenderness into the hands of those who fumbled with the weight of it, that you believed in people who made you feel like you were difficult to love, I am sorry that you gave so much of your hope to people who made you feel like you had to apologize for the way you cared.

I am sorry that you experienced certain things at the hands of love that caused you to stop believing in it’s kindness, that made you question if you were worthy of experiencing something real and honest and dedicated. I am sorry that you loved human beings who did not love themselves. 

I am sorry that you loved human beings who did not try to take care of you. Who do not know how to take care of themselves. I am sorry that you lost sight of your softness for a moment in the time.

I am sorry that your softness was taken for granted and in return, it hardened your heart. I am sorry that love was not always your safe place, was not always compassionate towards you. I am sorry that the very thing that defines you broke you.

I am sorry that the world sometimes failed to protect your soul. That the universe sent you certain human beings who were hurt and in turn, they hurt you, they dragged you into their brokenness and in turn, you ended up being broken.I am sorry that you had to carry all that weight inside of yourself.

I am sorry for the things you had to endure for the ways in which the world cracked pain into your life, for the ways in which it met you with things you were not prepared for. Circumstances you could not weather on your own. Storms you could not endure on your own. I am sorry you focused on it when so many aspects of your life tried to convince you that it did not exist. 

I am sorry that the world has not always been kind to you. I am sorry that you had to learn certain things in ways that will stay with you forever. I am sorry. But I am proud of you for being here. I am proud of you for trying to heal in the midst of all that felt unfair and cruel. I am proud of you for fighting to stay here.

I am proud of you for not giving up.  I am proud of you for the person you were, the person you became for the way you dug yourself out of the dark and for the person that you are turning out to be. From the way you pushed through the shadow. I am proud of you for your hope. I am proud of you for your belief in goodness.

I am proud of you for choosing to survive. I am proud of you. You did not deserve what happened to you. I am proud of you for not giving up on others but most importantly for not giving up on yourself. You did not deserve what you experienced.  You deserve better. But here you are… Here you are and I am sorry that the world took so much from you. That it made you experience things that you were too young to experience.

That it took your mother, your father. I am sorry that the world took away your courage, that there were mornings you felt like the heaviness of merely existing was too much of a load to carry. I am sorry that the world took so many pieces of you that it walked away with so much of your hope when you needed it the most.

When you were just looking for a soft place to land. I am sorry that you were not held there. I am sorry that you had to do it alone.I want you to understand that you are not alone. When you feel shuttered, I want you to remember that you are not alone.

Some of the most loving people in the universe have been broken one too many times in the past before they got a love that felt like home. They wore their hearts on their sleeves. They blocked the most valuable parts of their souls and still, they were able to walk away.

They believed that with each heartbreak, they moved closer to something better. Whenever you feel like a failure, remember that you are not alone. Some of the happiest souls in the universe had their joy stripped away from them time and again. They savored every moment and focused on the positives that came their way. Take a deep breath and remember, you are not alone.